Saturday, February 4, 2012
It's okay to cry
I spent the last 8 days down in Dallas, Texas to spend time with my sister, brother-in-law, and their new baby Natalie, who I am absolutely in love with! I swear she brings the biggest smile to my face, especially since she's right at that 6 months of age mark where she's laughing and smiling. I can't wait to watch her grow up and hopefully be an uncle that she can look up to. I know my sister and her husband Steve will always be wonderful parents, but i can't help but to think what kind of impact I will have in her life. I have no doubt that my love and my heart will always be with her, but I also know that there will inevitably come a day where she will wonder why Uncle David can't stop shaking, or why I walk slowly, or why I can't always speak clearly. Worse, I hope somehow I can manage to give her an answer on why my face always has a blank stare to it, instead of showing any type of emotion (this is called mask face, where your face loses the ability to make any movement or show emotion). I never really thought of things like this until I had a very emotionally conversation with a dear friend of mine several days ago. While I was down in Dallas, our company was holding our National Sales Meeting, and I was able to reconnect with many people that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was so touching that many of them had told me how inspired they were about my positive attitude towards Parkinson's and how it has helped them look at life in a different way. Some of us laughed together, some of us cried, some of us hugged tightly and whispered positive things to each other. It was an unbelievable experience for me to go through. All I have down is just try and stay positive and create this blog, and now I am hearing from all these people about how inspiring I've become to them. But, there was one person in particular that had the most touching conversation with me. It was with Diana Yu. Diana and I went through several training classes together over the past two years and haven't really gotten a chance to stay in touch because she's been busy with work and being a new mom. Which by the way her baby Kira is the cutest baby ever (except for my little niece Natalie of course) :):). Diana noticed my "TEAM FOX" wrist band that I always wear on my right hand and asked me what it was for. I explained to her the long story of me being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, all the money I have raised to help Michael J. Fox's Organization for Parkinson's Research, and my new positive outlook on life. I told her everything I had went through the past year from, Brain Scans, X-rays, MRI's, trials on 5 different medications, trips to 3 different neurologists, as well as a trip to Mount Sinai Hopsital in New York to be evaluated by the best Parkinson's and Movement Disorder Specialists in the world. I talked about all the alcohol I had leaned on to run from my problems, my long battle with depression, and how Parkinson's Disease changed all of that for me. It gave me a 2nd chance to become a better person. It was then that she mentioned seeing my blog on facebook but hadn't gotten a chance to read it. So, Diana asked me to pull it up on my phone so she could read a few blogs I had posted. Now, I always smile when I see or hear of someone reading my blog because I'm not someone special or famous. I am just someone that is trying to help others in anyway I can. As I watched Diana read (who is an absolutely beautiful girl and wonderful wife and mother), tears started pouring down her face. As much as I wanted to stop her, I just sat and watched. Once done, Diana's hands went limp and my phone dropped down on the table, as she suddenly burst into crying and threw her arms tightly around me crying on my shoulder. She kept repeating the same phrase that til this day I will never forget. It wasn't "I'm so sorry", it wasn't "How awful you must feel", it was something that touched me so much that I shared tears with her. She said, "You're the greatest person I've ever met."..................................................................................................................................Imagine hearing that. I was speechless. Not because I was crying with her, but because she actually told me that, with passion and love in her voice. She really meant it at that moment. I didn't have the words to tell her how much it meant to hear her say that. But I think this would be true for any of us. Maybe you have truly touched or inspired someone in their lives, it doesn't matter how or what you did, but everyone has made a difference in this world. And I think that's something for all of us to be proud of. What Diana said to me that night will always stay in my heart forever.